An Open Letter of Thanks to My Exes

Dear former lovers (and former wife of so long):

I not only forgive you, I thank you. I thank you for every challenge you gave me, every tear I cried on our behalf. I thank you for the lessons and experiences, both good and bad…especially the bad. I thank you for it all.

Through my seemingly unsuccessful relationships with you, I have learned some valuable lessons about life and love and women (and myself), done some incredible growing (and at times shrinking). You have helped make me the man I am today, and prepared me for my Real Lover, the one I hope and pray will eventually come.

You taught me how to love…and how to fight. You taught me to cook, and how to get cookin’. You taught me so many things, were the vehicle through which I learned so many lessons and experienced so many things. I grew, and you grew. Hopefully, I helped you grow enough to have wings of your own, to eventually fly from me to a better future.

I don’t mourn the past now. Sure, I might cry a little bit now and then, but the sadness has evolved into thankfulness, into gratitude for the gifts I learned at your feet, in your arms, and far away from you, alone.

Thank you, here’s a turkey.

No, seriously, I set aside a special day of thanks just for you, O Former (and supposedly forever) Lover. So thank you. Very much.


Dear Women Who Left Me Alone and Crying, I love you. I love you in spite of your lack of faith or effort in sustaining the holy creature US. I love you regardless of the pain you caused me (or that I allowed you to cause me). I love you for it all; the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly.

Dear Women I Was Glad to Be Rid Of, I love you. I now know my ignorance of the special gift that was us, that any of your foibles were not the show-stoppers I thought they were, but chances for me to forge a newer, better type of relationship, based on acceptance of what you are, rather than insistence on what I want. Karma has paid me back in spades, and I know now the sanctity of the gift of relationship, and the importance of working it out together (whatever that is, for it will inevitably be something…with anyone).

Until today, my life was pervaded by an unending sense of separation and loss. Now, my life is again mine, as I give you yours. I again have a purpose, as I let you to yours.

So fly, little bird, fly with my blessing. I have given it and given it, and now truly give it again. No longer will I fight what is, try to superimpose my idea of what should be on the IS. I accept, and in this learn perhaps the greatest love lesson of all.


I sit here in gratitude, experiencing the most valuable lessons of love…gratitude…and being fully present, for whatever it is.

‘Get along, sweet little woman, get along’


‘Now when I find myself alone and unworthy, I think about all those things I learned…from those fine, fine women with nothing but good intentions, and a bad tendency to get burned.’




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